[ Xion sinks back in her chair, her brow pulling down low and tight over her eyes even as her hands stay pinned to her mouth. She just sits there and watches him and listens to him talk. She listens to his silence, too, waiting for the other shoe to drop, even though the muddled feelings in her chest just won't match the dark and desperate tone of her thoughts. She can't make herself believe he'll reject her.
And when he doesn't, when the silence ends not with a repudiation but with acceptance, she doesn't know ... what to do.
I don't care what you are.
The words shiver through her, more than her small frame can bear to have echoing through her bones, and Xion has to shut her eyes. All at once she seems very tired, maybe even more than the (horrifying) excitement of the day might warrant. This isn't physical tiredness. It's spirit tiredness. Whatever makes her who she is is tired, in a fundamental way. She has to swallow before she can speak, finally lowering her hands and twisting them so tight in her lap they shake a little. ]
... I'm more like him than I'm like a human, [ she murmurs, because there's no point in being coy anymore. ] I was built for a purpose, just like he was. If I didn't fulfill it, they'd destroy me.
[ Xion glances off to one side, her eyes hooded. There is one thing that's been eating at her, something she can't reconcile. ]
Although... one day, I ran away. I ran away over and over. So why...
[ ... hasn't he?
She's warred with herself silently over this issue so much she's starting to lose track of her thoughts, where her own arguments end and begin. If he's programmed that way, he has no choice. But if he thinks and feels to the level she's been arguing, can't he form his own feelings about it? If he has, does that mean he accepts what's going on? Is he just ... okay with it? Is he being threatened if he fails to comply? Does it matter? She risked destruction for what was right. But can she expect that of anyone else?
Slowly she shakes her head and closes her eyes again. ]
I'm sorry, [ she finally whispers, opening her eyes and keeping them mostly lidded as she stares at the ground. ] I shouldn't have said ... any of that. My superiors used to threaten to get rid of me or even destroy me if I wasn't good enough, and I guess ... the way everyone hates the Sheriff reminds me of what that was like.
[ A pause, and a sigh. ]
I know you're not like that. I guess...
[ Finally, she spreads her hands and stares down at them, very sad. ]
no subject
And when he doesn't, when the silence ends not with a repudiation but with acceptance, she doesn't know ... what to do.
I don't care what you are.
The words shiver through her, more than her small frame can bear to have echoing through her bones, and Xion has to shut her eyes. All at once she seems very tired, maybe even more than the (horrifying) excitement of the day might warrant. This isn't physical tiredness. It's spirit tiredness. Whatever makes her who she is is tired, in a fundamental way. She has to swallow before she can speak, finally lowering her hands and twisting them so tight in her lap they shake a little. ]
... I'm more like him than I'm like a human, [ she murmurs, because there's no point in being coy anymore. ] I was built for a purpose, just like he was. If I didn't fulfill it, they'd destroy me.
[ Xion glances off to one side, her eyes hooded. There is one thing that's been eating at her, something she can't reconcile. ]
Although... one day, I ran away. I ran away over and over. So why...
[ ... hasn't he?
She's warred with herself silently over this issue so much she's starting to lose track of her thoughts, where her own arguments end and begin. If he's programmed that way, he has no choice. But if he thinks and feels to the level she's been arguing, can't he form his own feelings about it? If he has, does that mean he accepts what's going on? Is he just ... okay with it? Is he being threatened if he fails to comply? Does it matter? She risked destruction for what was right. But can she expect that of anyone else?
Slowly she shakes her head and closes her eyes again. ]
I'm sorry, [ she finally whispers, opening her eyes and keeping them mostly lidded as she stares at the ground. ] I shouldn't have said ... any of that. My superiors used to threaten to get rid of me or even destroy me if I wasn't good enough, and I guess ... the way everyone hates the Sheriff reminds me of what that was like.
[ A pause, and a sigh. ]
I know you're not like that. I guess...
[ Finally, she spreads her hands and stares down at them, very sad. ]
I can't set him free if he doesn't want to be.