ceded | [week four

Entry tags:

!robowest

[week four - monday]

[ Well. Once the. Horse situation is dealt with, Xion is free to go about her day. At least there aren't any corpse trees or body-burning bonfires today, that's nice. ... actually, it's a little eerie. Why isn't something happening? How unsettling.

(Unless the horse was Monday's Thing this week, and Xion doesn't know how she feels about that.)

Well, anyway. She has some things she wants to do. Hobble-hopping around is just ... so slow, but with how much she's abused her heel since she broke it she's in more pain than ever. Hannibal is helping her with that (who knew such a helpful thing like pain medication existed?), but she's still trying to take care. Even if it's frustrating and makes her feel extremely restless.

At the very least, she can find Milla, right?

You're accusing him based on the exact same reasons you could accuse me, but you won't accuse me!

. . . I'm sorry.

Yeah, they ... they need to talk.

Xion's not sure she's ready for this, but she might never feel ready, and Milla is -- Milla is her friend, one she cares about very much. She won't just let this go, no matter how complicated she feels inside. The ... only problem is finding her. Being only barely able to move around in the first place makes her reluctant to head out exploring the town unless she's positive Milla isn't in the hotel, so she decides to comb the place first. Habit brings her to the library, and...

... well, wouldn't you know it.

Seeing her makes Xion freeze up - at least, until she squares her shoulders. Gently: ]

Hi, Milla.

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[memories of her mistakes at week three's trial would certainly haunt Milla for a long, long time. she didn't mind making mistakes, as long as she was the only one to see consequences for them. one could learn from their failures and use them to become a better person, after all. but this time, someone else suffered for her actions. and that?]

[that couldn't happen again. it wouldn't happen again]

[her resolve has returned by Monday morning. Milla had accepted responsibility for her part in the disaster that was the trial, and vowed to continue fighting in order to make it up to those she had wronged. if she gave up now, then what would the purpose of Tarvek and Nisha's (impeding?) deaths be. . .? she couldn't just let them be for naught]

[and so, she would continue fight]

[but even if she had resolved her personal conflicts, there were still people she needed to speak with. Xion was one of those people. . . and although Milla had intended to contact her by the end of the day to try and make things right, her voice from the library doorway still takes her by surprise]

Ah--

[Milla's gaze snaps up from the book she was reading (a cookbook, with the focus being on steak and steak related recipes)]

Xion!

[and while Milla is normally pretty good at remaining composed, she doesn't mask her surprise this time around]

Good morning! Are you sure you should be walking around, though?

... morning, Milla. [ Her voice is very soft, and her expression shifts just a little into a very muted fondness.

Xion will make her way into the room, taking a chair close to Milla so it's easier to talk. Doing so requires her to walk a few extra steps that probably weren't necessary, but it's alright. She sighs once she's off her feet, tired and aching as always, but as ever willing to push past it. ]

It's okay. I think I'd go crazy if I just had to stay in bed. [ A faint laugh. ] I'm really not used to being inactive.

[ She smiles a little before it fades, and she just kind of watches the other woman. After a beat she'll ask ... maybe something Milla isn't expecting to hear: ]

Are you okay, Milla?

[Milla slowly closes the cook book she's flipping through as Xion approaches, and she finds she completely understands the sentiment. the several weeks she was on bed rest when she couldn't walk had been absolute torture. so even if rest is something Xion needs, Milla doesn't blame nor scold her for being up and about]

[she's about to say something else, but Xion's question takes her by surprise. there's a moment of silence, before she closes her eyes and answers, voice soft]

. . . I feel a bit. . . regretful. [she answers honestly] It isn't a feeling I'm used to. Regret and uncertainty are not emotions I deal with very often.

[not a confident and proud woman like her, anyway]

I made mistakes, and other people had to suffer because of them. You were one of those people.

[she opens her eyes again]

I will do better in the future. That's the decision I've made for myself. It won't change what has already happened, but I won't allow myself to make the same mistakes again.

[a beat]

And what about you? Are you all right?

[ Xion watches her steadily, wondering what it means not to experience regret and uncertainty very often. Is Milla just... that confident? That's what she thinks, given the kind of person Milla is.

Xion really admires her.

By the time Milla opens her eyes again, Xion's expression has gone soft. It's not quite a smile, but it's almost there. ]

I know. I believe you. I've believed in you from the start, Milla.

[ Asking her if she's okay... is not really something she wants to talk about. She'll look down at her lap, smiling, but there is no warmth or happiness in it. ]

... I'll keep going, [ is what she says, both a dodge and the truth. ] That's all that matters.

[w-weh!! something about that reaction warms Milla on the inside, and she reaches out to place her hand on top of Xion's]

. . . thank you.

[her voice is soft, but sincere. truthfully, if Xion were still angry with her, Milla wouldn't have blamed her. but this. . .? she's grateful for this. she wants to be the kind of person the people she cares about-- like Xion. . . and Jude, back home-- can admire]

I won't betray that belief again. I promise.

[she takes Xion's response for what it is and decides not to press]

Just remember. . . you aren't moving forward alone.

[ One of her hands lifts to press against her chest.

Not alone, huh...

Milla will get a smile, this time. It's very faint and sort of crooked, but it's a real smile nonetheless. ]

I know. I've got a lot of really amazing friends ... who won't let me walk alone. [ She laughs once, the sound at once grateful and very sad. ] I don't know what I did to deserve them.

[smiles are good!! Milla likes smile]

Precisely. And I don't think anyone does anything in particular to deserve good friends.

They simply tend to find us when we need them most.

[ She doesn't seem quite sure what to say to that, but it does cheer her. ]

I think you might be right about that.

[ Xion nods at the book Milla's still holding. ]

What were you reading? I'm sorry I interrupted you.

Hm? This?

[she holds up the book so Xion can see the cover]

I greatly enjoy food, but I've never tried cooking anything myself before. I thought now was as good as of a time as any to learn.

Oh! You want to learn to cook, too?

[ She smiles a little. It's faint, but ... it's sincere. ]

A few people have been teaching me, too. It's fun! If ... a little hard. [ Walking around a kitchen has become a challenge. ] Maybe we could cook something together, sometime.

[beams brightly!]

I'd like that. As it is, I understand the may combinations of flavor very well, but know little about the technical aspects of cooking. If you've already received some lessons, perhaps you could fill in the gaps of my knowledge.

[oh no now she seems a little excited?? or. a lot excited]

[ That gets a laugh. Milla's BURNING DETERMINATION!! is usually enough to make her smile. ]

Yeah. We can work together! Maybe between us we can make something that's actually edible.

[ Kidding, a little. But she'll quiet for a moment, looking at her friend, and then abruptly pipe up: ]

Hey, Milla, can I ask you something?

[she sure as heck has a lot of it!! determination, that is]

Of course you may. What is it?

[she's still smiling, even with the abruptness of Xion's question]

... do you remember when we talked about breaking into the train?

[ Xion has looked away again, her gaze just kind of sliding off somewhere to the right. ]

Do you still ... want to try it?

[oh. . . oh! she had. almost forgotten about that, actually. her smile fades into surprise, and then she adopts a more serious expression, mouth pressed into a thin line]

. . . actually, I don't think it'd be as wise of an idea as I originally thought.

[she visibly hesitates, which is strange, because Milla never hesitates]

I received some new information on that train. On its purpose, and its passengers.

Huh?

[ That gets Xion to look up again, startled. ]

What do you mean? Its passengers... you don't mean all those shadows?

I do.

[her brows furrow, and there's another pause as she searches the room to make sure there's absolutely no one available to eavesdrop on their conversation. once she's satisfied that they're truly alone, she speaks again]

Xion. . . can you promise that you won't tell anyone else what I'm about to tell you?

[ Xion blinks a few times in surprise, her brow starting to furrow in concern. Quiet and serious: ]

I promise, Milla.

[good. that's more than enough to appease her]

I asked the Sheriff about breaking the windows on the train. He advised me not to, and when I asked why. . .

[pause for DRAMATIC EFFECT]

. . . he told me the train is where those who are killed go to wait out the remainder of the game.

[ The shock happens in gradual stages. Her eyes widen, she sits up straighter, she goes a little pale, all these things happen in steps as the full import of those words slams into her. ]

You mean those shadows... those are our friends? Riku and Annabeth and--

[ Without even realizing Xion had started to rise from her chair, and she sits back down abruptly, kind of staring off into space. ]

... are they ... really safe? That's ... really them? For real?

[Milla reaches out, as though she's about to gently push Xion back into her chair. but Xion sits down on her own, so her hands once again drop into her lap]

Provided the Sheriff isn't lying to me? Yes. It is.

. . . I thought that knowledge might give you a bit of comfort, considering. . . well.

[Tarvek. Riku. all the other people who died, and all]

[ It really takes another few moments for that to really sink in.

And when it finally does, Xion kind of ... ducks her head, rubbing at her face while her shoulders jump once or twice. But that's all; she stays curled up as long as it takes her to calm back down, and when she sits up again, her face is dry, even if her eyes are still luminous with unshed tears. ]

I'm so glad... [ her voice is a whisper. ] They're really going to be okay... I'm so glad!

[ ... okay, well. She did try. She hiccups again, smiling through her urge to cry, and gives her head a rough shake. ]

I don't think the Sheriff would lie. He can be ... well, hard to understand, I guess, but I don't think he'd lie about something like this. Milla... we have to make sure the train stays safe.

[OH NO MORE CRYING. . . but this is definitely a different sort than the tears Xion had shed before. they're happy tears, and that's a good thing. why people cry when they're both sad and happy is still something Milla doesn't quite understand, but she'll take this]

I agree. He's. . . surprisingly reasonable. [which Milla finds both frustrating and relieving, but you know]

I tried to ask him what would happen to the deceased should we break those windows. He told me it depended on the individual's will to live. If they wished to survive, then there is a chance they would return to life. If they wished to remain dead. . . then their death might become permanent.

For that reason, I also want to make sure the train stays as safe as possible. We can't let anyone break those windows or otherwise destroy it.

[ Honestly, she couldn't tell you either. She's still too new to emotions this intense to really explain why she reacts the way that she does. All she knows is that this is how her feelings move her.

She'll end up rubbing her face again even if she's not actually crying, just trying to stem the urge. ]

I'll try and keep an eye on it. I don't want to go by too much, or it might seem strange, but... I'll do my best.

[ If they wished to remain dead...

It's a scary thing to think about. ]

Of course you will. Trying your best is just the kind of person you are.

[and since this is WAY BEFORE Jason and Shinnosuke open the post office. . .]

I wonder if there's a way for us to communicate with them?

I dunno. Actually, that's something I want to ask the Sheriff about, so if I find out, I'll tell you!

[ Xion's quiet for a moment, twisting her hands in her lap. ]

I just wish... there was more I could do than that.

Ah, all right. I'll leave that task to you, then.

We both wish there was more, but. . . ah. I suppose we just need to make the most of what we know we can do. Right?

... there is--

[ A pause. ]

... you said you're okay with risks, right, Milla?

That's right. Risks are an inherent part of living-- and escaping otherwise dangerous situations.

Why do you ask?

.... do you think .... we could try opening up one of the boarded up stores?

[ ... ]

After all, that's how we got access to the clinic. We might find something important.

[she responds without hesitation]

Of course I do.

I'm convinced that opening up those boarded up buildings will help us find the answers we seek. I know that it may be dangerous, but the risk is well worth it.

[ Xion blinks, and then ... perks up, at least a little. Milla is pretty reliable this way, huh? ]

... let's do it. We'll have to be as careful as we can, but ... if we can learn something, it'll be worth it.

[she is! she is a terrible influence, oh my god. either way, a big smile stretches across Milla's face at the suggestion]

All right. I think that's an excellent idea. It'll be much safer for us to go together.

[so they can have each other's backs, of course]

Are there any buildings in particular you want to open up first?

[ milla's the best bad idea enabler in all of whole ass ]

... no, I hadn't really thought about that too much. They're probably all important.

Likely. I think the clinic was the most important of them all, but now that it's open I imagine it doesn't matter in what order we open the rest.

[so she's advocating for picking one at random over here]

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[week four - monday]

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