ceded | [week four - wednesday]

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!robowest

[week four - wednesday]

[ Honestly, Xion isn't all that clear on what happened after she tore that arm out of the floor. After that, once the immediate and life-threatening danger had passed, her adrenaline had started to leave her. All her memories after that are a haze. Collapsing in the door, Shinnosuke appearing, Dr. Lecter kneeling at her side. At some point she must have passed out, because her next clear memories are of waking up in the clinic.

She feels kind of numb and hazy. It's like, for just a moment, she hasn't had her leg broken in multiple places. Xion rouses and looks around and says, croakily: ]

Dr. Lecter?

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[ When Xion wakes, Hannibal is sitting nearby. He has a book in hand, reading leisurely, and by all impressions, it seems like he's been here for a while. She stirs, and he calmly closes the book as he reaches into his jacket to pull out a bottle of pills. Two of them are shaken into his hand, and he stands to get a glass of water. ]

Good. You're awake.

[ He returns to her side and takes one of her hands to drop the pills into it, then puts the glass of water into her other hand. ]

Take these. They will help with the pain.

[ Xion just watches him passively, nonreacting, though her eyes do follow him as he moves. She'll take the pills as instructed, and then end up finishing off the whole glass of water. It makes her feel a little nauseous, but she hadn't realized how thirsty she was till she took a sip.

Once that's done, she'll at least look slightly more alert. Without thinking she tries to sit up, and then quickly abandons that idea when a soft gasp of pain escapes her. Ah, right. That Happened.

She'll look up at him with some trepidation as she asks: ]

How long was I...?

[ She gasps out in pain, and Hannibal is rather quick to place a hand on her shoulder. He pushes her back gently as he encourages her to rest, though the look on his face is rather openly disapproving. ]

Please, just rest for now.

[ He pulls his hands away and takes the glass from her, though once he's set it aside, he folds his hands in front of himself. He's still clearly not happy, but it's more concern on his face now. ]

You've been resting for a few hours. And I hope you'll rest for many more.

[ ah.

Parental disappointment is the worst kind of disappointment. Not that she'd know, but the look on his face still seems to cut her to the core, even more than when someone like Saix would look down on her with open contempt. ]

I...

[ "many more," huh. all at once: ]

I'm sorry!

[ is she? ]

I just... [ she presses a hand over her eyes. ] I couldn't just keep not doing anything.

[ The apology comes as a burst, and Hannibal cants his head very lightly as he listens. His expression still stays distant and disappointed, but it's not edged at all. This is a genuine concern, and as Xion presses her hands to her eyes, he breathes out a quiet sigh. He steps closer again, as close as he can be to be within her reach. If she's laying on something, he'll even partially sit on it. ]

And doing "something" would be trying to get yourself killed?

[ He's blunt there, and that concern edges in his voice, but it calms very gently. ]

...I just don't understand, I'm afraid. For every example that came before you, did it even turn up anything of worth? That's what confuses me, Xion. This is being reckless without a cause.

[ Don't look at me like that...

It stings. It really, truly stings. It lacks the contempt and cold dispassion that her superiors used to show her, but the sense of disapproval still--

threatens to open old wounds. Once he's close enough she'll reach for him, fingers grasping lightly at his sleeve. ]

... the reason we can use this place is because of Jason and Damian opening it up, [ she points out, soft. She gets what he's saying, but the need to push back galls her. ]

I... I wasn't going to die. I definitely wasn't trying to! I want answers. Just sitting around watching--

[ She'd started to raise her voice, and she cuts off abruptly. Her pale face hides most expression, but her anger and her shame are in her eyes. ]

[ Hannibal not only allows her to grasp at his sleeve, but his other hand comes to rest over it. He accepts the touch and returns it in kind, since he half grips her hand. The grip isn't to pry her off, but instead to accept the gesture. ]

And now we have more people that need this place because of trying to open up more.

[ He had been able to use some of the supplies here to help Natalie and Sei, but now the scales were tipping in the opposite direction. He worries about opening up the buildings, because the use doesn't seem to be worth the risk. Not so far, at least. But that's the part of Hannibal that he keeps hidden too. If the clinic hadn't been opened and Sei and Natalie had died, he wouldn't felt much different than he does now.

Hannibal removes her hand from resting over hers, but it's instead to reach out to her face fondly. He's more physical with people that he likes than his rather stuffy personality might imply, so he expresses his worry by a fond stroke of her cheek. He would hug her, if he weren't afraid of disturbing her. Or maybe of Xion just hurting herself more, honestly... ]

I worry about you, Xion. That might be unwise in a general sense, since objectively, I know that we all have a risk of being killed. But I hope you understand. I don't want to have to look at you and realize that I can't save you.

[ A soft, wounded sound escapes her when he touches her face. For a brief moment, she shuts her eyes and tilts her face into his hand, drinking in his open affection like parched earth beneath a rain. When she opens her eyes, she stares down at her own lap. ]

I won't die, [ she murmurs. ] You, more than anyone ... helped me realize I want to keep living. The only person who can really save me is ... the Sheriff. [ Only he has the power to, she thinks, grant her wish. ] But until then... I won't die.

[ His hand stays there, more for her than himself. Hannibal continues with that fond, gentle motion of his thumb over her cheek, but his expression is a bit more curious. It's not quite so concerned or reprimanding, at least. ]

I am glad to hear that, naturally. I also want you to keep living. But what I worry for is not something overcome by determination alone. I worry because no one wants to die. But unfortunately, they have no choice in it.

[ Xion dares to let her eyes find his, and is quietly relieved that the disappointment has waned. It was hard to even look at him, when he was looking at her like that.

She wants ... to be someone he can be proud of. ]

I know, [ she sighs. ] I know I shouldn't put myself in danger like that, since I won't always get as lucky as I did today. But ... even if I wanted to, I can't exactly go rushing off into danger now, huh? [ ... it's an attempt at humor, however self-deprecating it might be. ] ... I'll try to be better. I ... don't want to make you worry about me again.

[ This last part is soft with her shyness. ]

[ Hannibal pulls his hand back, but he stays at her side as a small smile creeps onto his face. That gentle, earnest shyness is apparently enough to soften someone of that worry, though it still creeps at the edges of that smile. It's probably unlikely to go away in full. ]

If you can try, that's all I can ask. Though if you were to ask your friends to stop being so reckless too, I would not mind that either.

[ children ]

You've all been lucky so far, after all. Milla especially is very lucky to have lived. If she had been more injured, I wouldn't have been able to help her.

[ That pulls a surprised laugh out of her, and Xion lifts a finger to scratch at her cheek. ]

I guess we're all like that, huh? I don't know if it'll help, but I can ask.

[ She can feel the medicine starting to work, a chemical drowsiness dulling everything, including her pain. Xion gives her head a shake and looks up at him again. ]

... Milla's really strong. I'm really glad ... she's going to be okay.

I doubt it. But I would appreciate the effort that you'd take in asking all the same.

[ As Hannibal watches her, he realizes that the painkillers are starting to take effect, and he smiles just slightly. It's good to see in the sense that it's easing the pain, even if Xion hasn't been showing much of it. He takes her hand in his lightly, and mirrors the gesture that he had been giving her cheek. His thumb rubs over the back of her hand as a comforting and warm gesture. ]

You're both quite strong, at least. So I'm glad too that you're both okay.

[ For a moment she has no answer. Her head is starting to feel fuzzy, and coming up with the words suddenly feels like a struggle. She'll glance away for a moment, then looks up as she curls her fingers slightly around his. ]

... can you stay?

[ Till she falls asleep. ]

[ Hannibal feels her hand curl around his, and he responds easily but gripping her hand in return. Her request gets him to smile, and he nods. ]

Of course. Until you fall asleep.

[ Which could be enough, but he does add after a moment for further reassurance: ]

I will be here.

[ Xion will settle down, getting comfortable with a sigh. At least the pain is better... And Dr. Lecter is here. His presence makes her feel... safe. Like nothing can hurt her, at least for a little while.

She won't let go of his hand. But she will shut her eyes, and before too long, her breathing is even and deep. ]

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[week four - wednesday]

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