[As she continues to stare at the ground, there's no visible reaction to Jason's reaction or Xion's first words. When she moves closer to her, though, she doesn't know what to expect. If it were her, she suspects she would be angry, perhaps violently so - but she knows, inherently, that Xion is a better person than she is. Still, she can't quite fight the instinct that tells her the other girl is going to yell, scream, show fury in some way. She finally looks up to catch her gaze just in time for her to put her arms around her and bury her face in her soaking hair.
She lets out a breath she wasn't aware she was holding in, and she freezes. She is acutely aware of the beat of her heart, but somehow, she doesn't realized she's started crying until she recognizes the sensation of liquid dripping down her cheeks. She stays like that as Xion tells her about Seizaburo's last words, stiff and stuck in place, tears falling progressively quicker. Soft and vulnerable:]
You... I...
[Somehow, she thinks of her parents, things they've said and how they've acted. I love you... As much as I can.You know, Natalie, it isn't about your comfort. She thinks of her brother, and years spent praying that she will ever matter half as much to them as his memory still does. Days of neglect and invalidation, fighting for any acknowledgement in spite of who she was rather than because of it.
All her life, she's been left behind for much less than this. She doesn't understand why Jason is telling her it isn't her fault as he clutches at her hand, why Xion is still here holding her and telling her not to apologize.
This is everything she's ever wanted, years of craving affection and understanding fulfilled. This feels wrong and foreign. She doesn't say anything for a long moment before she manages to choke out a few words. As she starts to speak, though there are still tears falling, a smile comes to her face. It's not joyful. It's heartbroken and pained.]
Why are you... Why do you... Why haven't either of you left yet?
[It doesn't sound like she's asking them to, but... Everyone else always has. Always.]
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She lets out a breath she wasn't aware she was holding in, and she freezes. She is acutely aware of the beat of her heart, but somehow, she doesn't realized she's started crying until she recognizes the sensation of liquid dripping down her cheeks. She stays like that as Xion tells her about Seizaburo's last words, stiff and stuck in place, tears falling progressively quicker. Soft and vulnerable:]
You... I...
[Somehow, she thinks of her parents, things they've said and how they've acted. I love you... As much as I can. You know, Natalie, it isn't about your comfort. She thinks of her brother, and years spent praying that she will ever matter half as much to them as his memory still does. Days of neglect and invalidation, fighting for any acknowledgement in spite of who she was rather than because of it.
All her life, she's been left behind for much less than this. She doesn't understand why Jason is telling her it isn't her fault as he clutches at her hand, why Xion is still here holding her and telling her not to apologize.
This is everything she's ever wanted, years of craving affection and understanding fulfilled. This feels wrong and foreign. She doesn't say anything for a long moment before she manages to choke out a few words. As she starts to speak, though there are still tears falling, a smile comes to her face. It's not joyful. It's heartbroken and pained.]
Why are you... Why do you... Why haven't either of you left yet?
[It doesn't sound like she's asking them to, but... Everyone else always has. Always.]