ceded | [week five - wednesday]

[ Her roommate is missing.

Her second roommate is missing.

Given what happened to her first, you can imagine her feelings when Natalie, with no prior warning, doesn't come back that night.

It's Wednesday, so there's no guarantee it's a kill, but worry still claws at her insides as she makes her way out of the hotel after a thorough search. Maybe she should get someone to come with her, but again, theoretically there shouldn't be any danger in going out on a Wednesday night.

Then again, Sei shouldn't have died today. The universe works in mysterious ways.

It takes her a while to search the stores, given that she just has to hobble between them. The place she isn't expecting to actually find something is the Saloon, a place she never ever goes because what's the point?

The point, apparently, is finding Natalie and Jason passed out on the floor, and also soaking wet??

At the very least, Xion manages not to fall on her face in her haste to get to them, but she will drop to the floor anyway and slightly jostle her broken leg. Oh well. ]

Jason! Natalie!

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[ No. It hasn't even been a full day. It hasn't even been more than a few hours since she and Shinnosuke buried Sei's mangled body.

What happens is that Xion goes very still, her eyes widening slightly with realization. When Jason takes her wrist, she doesn't react. Doesn't pull away, doesn't return the grip, nothing. Just lets him do it. ]

You're the item picker. That's your role.

[ For a long moment she just ... sits there, stunned into silence, quietly recalibrating everything she's ever believed about Natalie.

When she finally does pull her hand away from Jason, it's to brace it on the floor, along with her other hand. She does this to help herself scoot forward, closer to both of them.

And then she gathers Natalie into her arms, hugging her tight and hiding her face in Natalie's hair. If she cares that her best friend in Whole Ass is soak fucking wet and now her own clothes are going to get wet, she sure isn't showing it. ]

Do you know what Seizaburo told me? [ the while he was dying goes unsaid, implied. ] He said ... that he forgot he was slower now. [ Her laugh is also a sob, a quiet gasp of tears. ] He didn't even think about it. Just tried to go, without even realizing he'd never survive... the-- [ her voice cracks, and she laughs again, also crying. ] The last thing he asked me was if the dog was okay.

[ ... ]

It's not your fault, [ she whispers, holding Natalie still closer, protective, angry, too many emotions to name. ] From the very beginning you've been trying to help us... you didn't know. It's not ... your fault. You don't need to apologize to me.

[As she continues to stare at the ground, there's no visible reaction to Jason's reaction or Xion's first words. When she moves closer to her, though, she doesn't know what to expect. If it were her, she suspects she would be angry, perhaps violently so - but she knows, inherently, that Xion is a better person than she is. Still, she can't quite fight the instinct that tells her the other girl is going to yell, scream, show fury in some way. She finally looks up to catch her gaze just in time for her to put her arms around her and bury her face in her soaking hair.

She lets out a breath she wasn't aware she was holding in, and she freezes. She is acutely aware of the beat of her heart, but somehow, she doesn't realized she's started crying until she recognizes the sensation of liquid dripping down her cheeks. She stays like that as Xion tells her about Seizaburo's last words, stiff and stuck in place, tears falling progressively quicker. Soft and vulnerable:]

You... I...

[Somehow, she thinks of her parents, things they've said and how they've acted. I love you... As much as I can. You know, Natalie, it isn't about your comfort. She thinks of her brother, and years spent praying that she will ever matter half as much to them as his memory still does. Days of neglect and invalidation, fighting for any acknowledgement in spite of who she was rather than because of it.

All her life, she's been left behind for much less than this. She doesn't understand why Jason is telling her it isn't her fault as he clutches at her hand, why Xion is still here holding her and telling her not to apologize.

This is everything she's ever wanted, years of craving affection and understanding fulfilled. This feels wrong and foreign. She doesn't say anything for a long moment before she manages to choke out a few words. As she starts to speak, though there are still tears falling, a smile comes to her face. It's not joyful. It's heartbroken and pained.]

Why are you... Why do you... Why haven't either of you left yet?

[It doesn't sound like she's asking them to, but... Everyone else always has. Always.]

[In a strange way, their reaction is a relief. He had been bracing himself for something worse, for something more explosive. Between Natalie tossing herself in the lake earlier during the day and Xion's rapidly building stress, it was all too easy to imagine another scenario. Perhaps that makes him a shitty friend, expecting nothing but the worst case scenario from them. Or, maybe it just means he inherited his caretaker's paranoia through osmosis. It could even be a mix of both. But it doesn't truly matter. Not really.

He watches them for a moment, allowing the scene to play out. He then squeezes Natalie's hand, tapping out a message on the ground with his free hand.

Because we love you. You're our friend.

And even if Xion can't understand what he's saying right now, it's the truth. Though they've only known each other for a little over a month, Natalie is their friends, and friends do not abandon friends when the going gets tough. There's nothing that can change that.]

[ Xion truly has no idea what it is that Jason just tapped out. To her, it just kind of sounds like noises. Which makes the fact that she's about to echo him some kind of fate, or the evidence of both their love for this girl who is crying between them. ]

What? Why ... would I ever go anywhere? You're my friend!

[ She'll pull back enough to look at Natalie's face, baffled and concerned, and it takes her a moment to notice that Natalie is crying what with all the other water going on. She'll end up tugging at the edge of her sleeve and using it to dab at those tears, affectionate and so worried. ]

Both of us... [ She glances at Jason, as if for support, then looks back at Natalie. ] We care about you. You know ... you were the first person to find out what I am.

[ Xion murmurs the words as she leans in again, wrapping her arms more loosely around Natalie's shoulders and hiding her face from Jason. She doesn't really care anymore if he learns she's not human. It's okay if he does. She trusts him. ]

And you didn't push me away. You weren't even scared of me. I knew then that you were an amazing person... and I feel really lucky to have known you. So don't say things like that, okay?

[She listens closely to everything they say, and while she doesn't understand it, she finds that she feels the same way. What a strange feeling, to have people this earnestly telling her they care about her with no caveats or baggage attached. She stays still for another moment, but after that, she moves fairly quickly.

She twists her fingers through Jason's for a moment as she feels him squeeze her hand, but then pulls back so she can tap words out on his palm, gentle. I love both of you too. I do. She takes in a few gasping breaths to steady herself as Xion reaches out to dry her eyes, feeling ridiculous and ashamed and warm despite the first two items. She blinks a few times to stop herself from crying. She listens to everything she says, and thinks about her and Jason's words.]

I'm sorry... [But this time she continues after a thick swallow.] For, um, for worrying you. Both of you. T-Thank you.

[She loves them both so much it makes her heart ache a little. What a frightening feeling.]

[It's evidence, of course. Proof of the fact that, perhaps no matter what Natalie might believe, she is loved and cared for by both of them. She is their friend, first and foremost, and no matter what this place may force her to do — that will never change. It's an immutable truth. That's all there is to it.

Xion's choice of words do get him to cock an eyebrow, however. "What I am" could refer to many, many things. Some of those things are fine. Others are not. But he won't ask about it now... or later. It's not his place to ask, he thinks. Not really. So, instead, he focuses on the words Natalie taps on his palm. Strings the sentences together to understand her reply, as a small sensation of warmth spreads through his chest.

There's a small and tiny burst of happiness here, in the middle of this horrifying situation they've found themselves in. It doesn't make up for everything that has happened in the last five weeks. It certainly doesn't make up for Natalie's missing arm and Xion's injured leg, that's for sure. But he still feels a hint of happiness at seeing his two friends like this, supporting each other and being there for one another.

Mimicking Xion's gesture, he glances at her as if to reaffirm what's already been stated. Shaking his head at Natalie, it's easy to guess what he's saying "no" to. There's no reason for Natalie to apologize, and as friends... they would worry about her anyway. That's just how it is. So continue to be you, Natalie Goodman. They're here for her.

... Though, they should also consider getting towels for all three of them. But that can wait for a little bit.]

[week five - wednesday]

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comes back to this days later whispering i can't believe you two