[week three - thursday]

[ceded]

[ This has been such a long day.

This has been such a long week.

When Xion emerges from the bathhouse, it's exhausted and very sore, but finally really clean. She's already in pajamas, because she's quite honestly thinking of taking a quick nap to prepare for her camera vigil. She's barely slept in days with all that's gone on, after all.

But before she tries to brave the stairs up to her room - and she suddenly truly regrets, even though it was no choice of her own, having a room on the second floor - she meanders into the lounge. Pluto is at her side, exhibiting a certain cautious optimism that's, like, more personality than a dog should be able to display, probably?, but somehow works for him.

She seems a little surprised by who she sees there. For a moment, she's hesitant about approaching, but...

... maybe she just needs to give him a chance? He was awful when they met, but that night they all spent together wasn't so bad.

So Xion will hobble her way over, leaning heavily on her walking stick and smiling faintly. ]

Hi, Will.

Comments

SPARKLES, HELLO FRIEND

[ceded]

[ Xion blinks and tilts her head at him, just as curious.

... he might be blunt and kind of mean, but maybe it was unfair of her to be so hard on him, huh.

Still smiling, she shakes her head and slowly limps towards a seat nearby. ]

No. I just wanted to say hi.

[ Pluto seems to want to, too. He trots over to Will, smiling a doggy smile and clearly hoping for pets. Meanwhile, Xion settles into her chair, pulling her good knee up to her chest and very gingerly letting her broken foot stretch out. She's not wearing shoes, so the bandaging and splinting she's got on her foot is quite visible - Hannibal's handiwork. ]

That's not weird, is it? [ Sort of sheepish and shy at once. ]

[sweats]

[ Well, Will is always a fan of dogs so as Pluto approaches, he'll hold out his hand for him to sniff. If Pluto stays, Will will scratches at his head, petting him around the ears with a soft, pleased expression.

He'll look over to Xion as she sits and if she's careful enough to notice, she'll see that he doesn't meet her eyes. He looks off to the side before down at Pluto again. ]

No, not really but you -- well, you don't like me very much, do you? You aren't quiet about that.

[ceded]

[ Just .... kind of .... stares at him. ]

You called me an idiot!

[ seriously dude ]

... I don't dislike you, [ she says, her smile very faint and crooked, and it's the truth. ] You're really blunt, and, well, you are kind of mean, but you were just trying to help us figure out what to do with the camera. You weren't the only one to feel that way.

[ Xion tilts her head, watching him curiously. ]

I guess I just feel like ... you weren't trying to be mean, either.

[sweats]

[ He raises an eyebrow but otherwise looks nonplussed, raising a shoulder in a shrug. ]

Your actions were idiotic.

[ See, this is that moment where a normal person who isn't Will Graham, permanent antisocial recluse, would probably apologize and try to make due. Instead he sighs and leans back in his chair, knocking back the rest of his drink as Winston pulls away from him. The dog drops to the floor, sniffing at Pluto before sitting at Will's feet, attentive. ]

I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just not in the business of holding my tongue. You want sympathy, you've got the psychiatrist right there dishing it out by the gallons. I just keep to myself, avoid the excess.

[ Of emotions. Of people. Of ... stupid...ity... ]

[ceded]

[ Xion, again, stares at him for a long moment.

And then she just ... honestly, rolls her eyes at him. Like straight up just kinda does that and shakes her head and sighs a little, app ... arently unfazed.

Look, when you spend a lot of time with Shinnosuke, you get kind of used to this sort of talk. It's not like one of her best friends back home didn't sometimes call her names and act coldly towards her, too, which he did.

She's aware that an acerbic exterior doesn't necessarily mean an unkind interior. ]

I didn't say I was looking for sympathy! I just wanted to talk to you. [ With a tilt of her head, she gives him a curious look. ]

Excess?

[sweats]

[ Teenagers.

At least the roll of her eyes doesn't bother him, he doesn't give it much notice at all. He's not even looking at her, just watching the dogs. Why watch her face for emotion when he can feel it, in the air, like a scent or a taste? It's all right there. It's always right there. ]

Everyone's looking for sympathy, Xion. [ A pause. ] Or empathy. No one likes being misunderstood.

[ That's a bit more bitter than anything else he's said before. No indifference there. ]

Excess of people. And emotion. They're generally unpleasant.

[ceded]

[ It's not, generally, in her nature to be dismissive like that. But, well, it's been a long three weeks. By now she notices he won't really look at her, and she wonders, kinda, what that's all about, though she doesn't assign any particular meaning to it.

Pluto seems to just be happy to be around Winston and Will, sitting on his haunches and panting happily.

Will's ... accusation, as it were, gets her to look thoughtful. After a moment she'll reply, blunt herself and rather straightforward: ]

If I were going to look for sympathy, I wouldn't ask you. [ simply put. It's not said unkindly, it's just ... a statement of fact. ] But ... I guess you're right about that. Everyone wants to be understood, don't they...?

[ It's that last thing that really gets her attention. It sounds familiar in a way she doesn't like. ]

... you don't like emotions? Or ... is it just other people's emotions?

[sweats]

[ He doesn't feel insulted by her reply. Truthfully, he doesn't feel anything -- just grateful for the honesty. ]

You wouldn't, but if you came in here and said hi and I ignored you or asked you to leave, you would be taken aback. That is being misunderstood, that is upsetting. Put any two people in that situation and it would be an uncomfortable experience.

[ The inquiry about emotions though, it gets him to flick his eyes back to her before looking away again. He frowns, seems to be considering something and is quiet for a long moment. ]

Others. I have... difficulty with their emotions. Hannibal hasn't told you?

[ceded]

[ Some surprise registers on her face, but it's thoughtful. ]

I hadn't thought about it like that. You're right. ... I'm glad you talked to me instead, [ she says, with a soft laugh.

Again she considers him as he explains his ... issue, or whatever the case may be. It sounds both familiar and ... not. Will ... he's human, isn't he? Hannibal, too. There's never been any indication to her that either of them would be something else. Will describing his experience like that, though, makes her wonder. Nobodies have no emotions of their own -- well, supposedly, she concedes -- they just act like they do. But Will has emotions, he just ... has trouble with the emotions of others.

He reminds her of Saix. But he's not as cruel. ]

No, [ she says, shaking her head. ] He just said you were abrasive. [ ... shrug??

Thinking about it a little further seems to cause a small series of realizations within her, bursts of shock and then guilt before she makes a conscious effort at clamping down on them. Now the look she gives him is sympathetic. ]

... trials must be really hard for you.

[ They all get so emotional. ]

[sweats]

[ He just shrugs at her understanding what he meant and instead glances around, looking for the whiskey bottle he kept nearby. When he spots it, he reaches out to grab it and refills his glass. The alcohol takes the edge off, makes him numb to the sensations around him.

Which helps, at the sudden spiral of emotions coming from her as she realizes what he means. He grits his teeth slightly, takes another drink, and then gives a jerky nod of agreement. ]

It's like a sponge. Whatever you feel, any inch of it, I can see it and understand it. Then I feel it, even if I don't want to.

[ceded]

[ The way she stares at him this time is different. It's probably hard to put a name to, and her feelings are complicated.

Then Xion shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath. She does this several times. It takes a few moments, and it's not perfect (and, well, she won't have reason to perfect this skill till tomorrow), but she calms, and so do her emotions. There's something sort of nice about it. Actively reaching for tranquility is strange, and nigh-on unattainable, but hopefully it helps a little.

When she opens her eyes again, she tilts her head and ... decides not to ask. If it's helpful, it's helpful. If it wasn't, she'll learn. ]

... that sounds like a power. Like ... magic, almost. Have you just ... always been that way?

[sweats]

[ Will watches Xion for a moment, gaze careful and curious as she actively tries to quell her emotions. It works, the narrowing perspective making what he feels from her mute. He's able to hear his own feelings, louder and clearer. Even if she doesn't ask, she gets a tilt of his head from Will in acknowledgement. ]

It's not magic. It's a health issue. When you're a child, you have a certain amount of mirror neurons in your brain -- they help you learn how to adapt behaviors from your parents, your family. How to speak, eat, talk. How to react to the world around you. It's your basis for social interaction. As you get older, they fade away and you have your behaviors set.

[ He shrugs, takes another drink. ]

I had an excess of them. As I got older, they never faded away. So, yes. I've always been this way.