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[week four - tuesday]
[ It's really the events of yesterday that set this off.
Or... maybe it started earlier? Maybe she's been thinking about it since that conversation last week...
It's given her a lot to think about. And a lot to think that maybe she's overthinking. She's heard so many definitions of the concept of love and still hasn't the slightest idea of how to apply any of them to herself. It still seems so unreal, so unattainable, so ... human.
But then, what is ... this?
So anyway, she needs her dad. So Tuesday evening she goes to find him, feeling quiet and pensive, though she's not upset. (Not like she was yesterday, after the news came down of who got exploded this week.) ]
Dr. Lecter? [ She'll even smile a little, so at least whatever's bothering her isn't an emergency. ] Sorry to bother you... are you busy?
[ She does feel a little guilty for just ... bothering him like this all the time. Or rather... it feels like she takes so much from him, with so little to offer.
Which ... gives her something of an idea, once he (hopefully) agrees. ]
Or... maybe it started earlier? Maybe she's been thinking about it since that conversation last week...
It's given her a lot to think about. And a lot to think that maybe she's overthinking. She's heard so many definitions of the concept of love and still hasn't the slightest idea of how to apply any of them to herself. It still seems so unreal, so unattainable, so ... human.
But then, what is ... this?
So anyway, she needs her dad. So Tuesday evening she goes to find him, feeling quiet and pensive, though she's not upset. (Not like she was yesterday, after the news came down of who got exploded this week.) ]
Dr. Lecter? [ She'll even smile a little, so at least whatever's bothering her isn't an emergency. ] Sorry to bother you... are you busy?
[ She does feel a little guilty for just ... bothering him like this all the time. Or rather... it feels like she takes so much from him, with so little to offer.
Which ... gives her something of an idea, once he (hopefully) agrees. ]
no subject
[ He shrugs, though it's with a wry, warm smile. Hannibal remembers it fondly, but Will himself or any outsider to the situation absolutely wouldn't. But as the conversation isn't about Will and Hannibal, he moves on. ]
But if you worry about that, then you will have to make your feelings known. It is frightening, of course. But you will know where you stand.
no subject
[ Wow. She can't even picture that kind of time. Hannibal must have really loved him to be that dedicated.
Xion glances up at him again, frowning uncertainly. ]
What if it's better to just ... keep being friends? Even when everything's awful, or when I'm really upset... I feel better like I'm with him. Like ... I really can keep going, no matter how bad things are. I don't want to mess that up.
no subject
It is a possibility, certainly. Expressing your feelings can be a danger to that, in a way. It is why Will and I spent three years apart, after all. He did not accept my feelings at the time.
[ Which is... technically true, but still incredibly misleading as to what actually happened, as with many of Hannibal's anecdotes. ]
It may be better. But you may also have your feelings fester in your chest, unable to express them because of fear of loss. Neither is ideal. But they are the prices that must be weighed.