[week five - wednesday]

[ceded]

[ Well.

.... well.

Xion's got a lot on her mind when she seeks out Percy. She's made a decision - and given what she knows, or she thinks she knows, she wants Percy to know it, too. Besides, maybe he can ... help her, too. Maybe he knows things she doesn't.

So it's with a sense of purpose that she finds him, and doesn't really waste any time on preamble. ]

Hey, Percy? Can we talk?

Comments

[hydrokinetics]

Like shadowtraveling, kind of. [Not that Nico can take them between worlds, but he's familiar with the idea of teleporting.] You've been to lots of worlds then besides this one?

[But...okay.] When was the last time you talked to the Sheriff anyway?

[ceded]

Mhm! Lots. It's actually pretty strange to be stuck in one place for so long.

[ That gets a considering hum. ] I guess about a week ago. I had some things I wanted to ask him, like about passing messages to the dead, and about the roles.

[hydrokinetics]

We're constantly used to moving, too. Annabeth and I were on a quest before we got here.

[There's a curious look.] Did you talk to him about the roles after you talked to Damian? And what'd he say about passing messages to the dead anyway?

[ceded]

Yeah! Actually, Damian was the one who told me to ask that question, about contacting people who've died. The Sheriff, well...

[ She frowns thoughtfully. ]

At the time he said to wait until Thursday and then reply to his letter. I didn't really get what he meant until all those letters arrived. I guess we can send replies back.

[hydrokinetics]

Everybody has mailboxes. I guess that's part of it, but I don't know if they're really going to get through either. I'm not sure I want to believe it's that easy either.

What would you write if you could guarantee it'd get through?

[ceded]

... I'm not sure.

[ She's been trying to think about it, but .... ]

I guess I'd just thank them for letting me know they're okay. And ... tell them not to worry, because we're coming to get them.

[hydrokinetics]

I don't think that's such a bad idea. The dead probably want to hear assurance just as much as we do. And Riku would like to hear from you, I bet.

[ceded]

... I think ... he would. [ Very soft. It's hard to picture. But he'd really cared about her. They're ... friends.

For once, she owes it to him to be the one saving him. ]

Percy... can you tell me more about the roles?

[hydrokinetics]

[There's a long and quiet pause.]

...it's better that you don't know, Xion. There are so many times I wish I didn't.

[ceded]

Percy...

[ A longer pause this time, and she sits up so she can actually look at him. ]

... I don't understand. How is it better? I want to help. I can't help if I don't know...!

[hydrokinetics]

Because having information in this place is dangerous. I promise you, it's better this way. Please just trust me, okay?

[ceded]

But...!

[ Despite herself, she's a little upset. ]

I do trust you! I just wish ... you felt the same about me.

[hydrokinetics]

Huh? [He's confused by the sudden change and he blinks in surprise, staring at her openly now.] Who said this was about not trusting you?

[ceded]

[ The look she gives him is just as confused, and a little hurt. ] ... wouldn't you tell me, if you did? It's not like I don't understand the risks!

[hydrokinetics]

[...yeah, he's not sure he likes that logic. He understands the frustration that comes from people not giving answers and he understands how annoying it is, but not trusting her? Why can't she see what's really happening here, why he's trying to make sure she doesn't get hurt?]

I trust Annabeth with my whole life even beyond the grave, Xion. And I haven't even told her everything I know in order to keep her safe. This isn't about if I trust you or not, it's about keeping you alive.

[ceded]

[ Xion looks at him for a long moment more, then turns her head, directing a troubled gaze down at her lap instead. ]

... I guess it's just ... [ she turns her hands palm up and stares at them, her fingers slightly curled. ] ... I'm tired of feeling so helpless.

[ Those hands curl into loose fists before she puts them down. ]

It feels like no matter what I try to do, I just can't help anyone. You already knew everything I did, and I'm sure Damian does, too. Every time I try to help, I just end up making a mess. I don't know what ... I'm supposed to do.

[hydrokinetics]

[There's a long beat.]

Live. [It seems like such a simple answer, doesn't it?] Feeling helpless sucks, but having information and still not knowing what to do sucks even more. That's where I'm at right now. But living and being there for people...that's important, too. You've been doing a great job with that, haven't you? [A pause.] Shinnosuke?

[ceded]

[ It's the simplest answer and also the hardest.

Abruptly, all at once, she understands how he must have felt, when she'd said those words to him. It makes her wince, quietly, on the inside.

Shinnosuke's name makes her blink, startled, and she just kind of stares at him, slightly pink, until she realizes what he's trying to say. At which point she gets pinker, mostly in response to having gotten pink at all in the first place. ]

... maybe? [ It's a question, thoughtful and soft. ] I really care about him. I ... hope I've been there for him. For Natalie, too. [ Soft. ] You three are like my closest friends here. Of course I want to be there for you guys.

[hydrokinetics]

[He doesn't say anything, looking at her and waiting for her to draw the conclusions he already drew himself. This is what it means to help. Be there for people in a messed up situation, give them ease of mind, things like that. Percy knows that Annabeth especially worried about keeping him alive in this place and he worried for her, too. Now he worries about her on the other side.]

I think you've done a great job. [There's almost a gentle smile.] Being there for people isn't always easy. I'm not always great at it myself. And sometimes I'm not even sure I can keep the "living" promise myself. [Demigods die young.] And that's why we need people like you. Having information isn't everything. You can do so much even without knowing everything.

[ceded]

But of course I...!

[ It kind of hits her then, what that means. Of course I would, no matter how hard it is or how much it hurts; all of a sudden, she can't stop thinking of Natalie, crying and murmuring sorry over and over again. She thinks of a soft, stunned okay in answer to an important question. She thinks of holding a hand, and feeling fingers curl in response around hers.

Oh.

It takes some time to sink in.

But maybe Percy will have his answer in the way she, more carefully this time, leans in and tucks herself against him. ]

[hydrokinetics]

[Yeah. There's that. It's sort of the same way he doesn't have to know all of the answers so long as he can pull her closer and loop an arm around her to secure her, give her time to really sit on what he's said. It's the support, he thinks, that's always just as important as answers.]

...Annabeth is the smartest person I know. [The way he says it is still a tone of awe mixed with sadness.] I'm used to getting all of my information from her. She knows practically everything. But answers aren't everything if you don't have someone guiding you to find them. That's how we work. I fight to protect her and keep her safe, be there for her and...love her, and she finds answers for us to tackle problems together and work to achieve goals, even if she doesn't always tell me everything she knows.

I don't remember if I've ever told you this, but we were separated for a really long time. And when I found her again--[A soft laugh.]--well, she found me, actually, all I cared about was being there for her. She knew she would have to leave me again really soon for a quest. Something she had to do by herself. It was frustrating she wouldn't tell me what was going on, but just being there for her, staying alive and everything? It gave her the ability to complete her quest. And when we fell together...it took both of us to keep each other alive and get back up from the Underworld.

[He stops. He misses her, painfully so, especially in these moments where he's not even sure he's saying the right things and he desperately wishes he knew what to really do to not screw things up.]

You know a lot of reckless idiots, Xion. We need you.

[ceded]

I'm one of those reckless idiots too, you know, [ she murmurs softly in the wake of his story. No, he hadn't told her those specifics before, but what she hears doesn't surprise her - not as far as Percy goes, anyway.

Be there for her and love her, huh... ]

But okay. [ Presses her face into his shoulder, briefly. ] I guess you guys do need someone to look after you, huh?

[ with very faint, somewhat sad humor. but she's trying. ]

[hydrokinetics]

[There's a huff of a laugh, but he allows her to press into his shoulder anyway.]

Reckless idiots looking out for bigger idiots sounds about right. That's just what we have to do here to keep each other protected. Do that for me? Please?

[ceded]

I will.

[ Not I'll try, one of her most common refrains. ]

I can at least do that much. [ A somewhat self-deprecating mutter. ] Percy... you need to take care of yourself too, okay? I know you feel like you need to do as much as you can, too. But you're just one person, the same as me. Don't forget you have us.

{ she doesn't specify the "us," but thinks he'll probably figure out who she means. ]

[hydrokinetics]

[He laughs under his breath.] I don't think you guys would ever let me forget that I have you. I know I'm just one person but...I'll try, all right? We'll work together to keep each other from being too reckless.

[A pause.] And...I'll fill you in on things when I can. Is that a good compromise?