[week five - thursday]

[ceded]

[ There are a number of normal places one might find Hannibal Lecter in the town of whole ass. He's a fairly dependable sort of man, with a routine and things he likes to do. These are small things Xion has learned about him over the weeks she's spent getting to know him.

Which makes the kitchen the very first place she tries, since it's in the hotel. She doesn't find him there, to her mild surprise, so off she sets.

The third place she tries - the clinic - nets her what she was looking for. Xion will tilt her head as she hobbles in on her trusty crutches, the look in her eyes thoughtful, even if her expression is otherwise, well, blank. ]

Are you preparing for something?

[ ... hi, by the way. ]

Comments

[sating]

[ Hannibal doesn't return to his work. He watches Xion as she explains clearly looking at how she reacts at her own explanations. She's subdued, to say the least, and he can hardly blame her. And yet, his response isn't quite as gentle as she might expect. ]

No. It's not.

[ His tone isn't callous or cruel, but it's still rather firm. His task is put to the side for now as he walks closer, and remembering how she had reacted to touch before, he sets a hand on her shoulder carefully. His tone softens, but it's still gently insistent. ]

That may depend on how you mean "still going." You can still go forward in a physical sense, to continue living as needs require.

[ He pauses, and he instead refers to a previous conversation of theirs as he more gently asks: ]

Are you still struggling?

[ceded]

[ Xion opens her mouth.

And then shuts it with a snap so abrupt her teeth click.

The stare she directs up into his face is a complicated one. There's a lot of different emotions going on here, suddenly. Anger, regret, irritation, unhappiness. More than that. ]

Dr. Lecter... I get what you're trying to say, but... if all I do is keep crying every time I lose a friend, I'll never manage to keep going. Maybe it's not the best way, but ... this is what I need to do.

[ There's an edge of desperation to her. She's struggling more than she knows how to express or cope with, but if she stops to unpack it she's scared she won't be able to keep going again. ]

[sating]

[ He shakes his head gently ]

Crying is not the only way to struggle. All I hope is that this is not you accepting the circumstances passively. That is the point where it becomes giving up.

[ Hannibal draws his hand away from her shoulder to instead fold them lightly in front of himself. He looks at her, and there's a moment's pause, because he feels like there's a chance for her to express something here. So he changes direction slightly to ask a more general question. ]

Were you looking for me or simply taking a stroll?

[ceded]

I'm not....

[ ....

She doesn't try to respond, in the end. But her expression goes a little hard as she stares at anything but him. ]

I was looking for you. I wanted to ask you something.

[sating]

[ His brow knits together lightly as he watches her, but his expression relaxes after. He still keeps his attention on her, and he nods in understanding. ]

Of course. What is it?

[ceded]

[ Rather baldly: ]

Do you have a role?

[sating]

[ His expression instead shifts to one of light surprise, but his answer is immediate as he shakes his head. ]

No. I don't.

[ It's a simple answer, but it sounds quite sincere and is delivered with the same certainty that Hannibal tends to always speak with. But he does frown slightly after giving it, and he has to return with a question of his own. ]

Asking "why" seems ill-fitting, so I'll rephrase it. What brings this up, Xion?

[ceded]

[ Xion looks up into his face, her eyes searching his. Whatever she finds there, she doesn't comment on it. ]

I ... I want to make this game end, Dr. Lecter. For so long, I've felt ... helpless. If I can do anything to make that happen ... I will.

[sating]

[ Hannibal pauses here, watching her back curiously. When he speaks, his voice is gentler, and there's a note of concern in it. ]

If I had any power to do that, I would. But unfortunately, I was not given such power. I suppose that, in itself, is the reason.

[ He sighs, though it's soft. ]

If you're looking for the roles, what do you plan to do, Xion? From what I know of them, that seems... Dangerous, I suppose, though if you're feeling helpless, that may not matter. But involving yourself in their affairs may not help with that feeling.

[ceded]

... you can do a lot with information, [ is what she finally says, somewhat cryptically. Seems she's not feeling forthcoming on the real answer to that question. ]

It's definitely going to be dangerous. But ... I can't keep doing nothing.

[sating]

[ He raises an eyebrow quizzically at her statement, but he doesn't ask further or press. Instead, he focuses on the latter half of what she says. ]

Doing "something" here seems to be rather concretely defined. Earning merit is the euphemism that the Sheriff prefers. I have earned some in surgery. I imagine others have earned it through murder. Either way, it comes through blood. Is that a "something" you truly want to undertake?

[ceded]

... if I want to end the game, doesn't it have to be?

[ Quietly, with no real inflection. It's probably not hard to tell she's been dwelling on this idea for a while. ]