[week five - thursday]

[ceded]

[ Tired is starting to feel like such an inadequate word for how she feels all the time.

Sunset on Thursday finds her sitting on the porch of the hotel, bracing the heels of her palms on the wood beneath her and staring up at the sky. Watching blue slowly fade into purple and orange reminds her of...

... long ago times, that she'll never have again.

It's nicer to while away the time out here than it is inside. She always gets caught up in her own head when she stays in the hotel lounge, her thoughts chasing themselves in increasingly nasty circles and haunted by images she can't forget burned into the backs of her eyelids. Out here, with a faint breeze stirring her hair, she feels more ... peaceful.

What she isn't expecting is...

... ...

Really, it's probably not a good thing she's gotten so attached.

But she'll smile anyway, even if he can't see it, when he approaches. ]

Hey, Shinnosuke.

[ She's not ... like, cheerful. Honestly, she hasn't been that way in a long while. But this is ... the best she can do, you know? ]

Comments

[ceded]

[ She still sees his hand move, and wonders. She does not, however, pursue or acknowledge the motion in any way. ]

... no, there's more. A lot more. [ ... ] ... there's a Deputy, and someone called a Madame, too.

[insincerely]

[Keeeeeping that hand to himself.]

... Really going with the Wild West theme here, but that's not surprising. I'm guessing you don't know what those do either, huh? Though their names might be a hint...

["Bandit" is a pretty obvious one, at least.]

[ceded]

No, I don't. [ There's a certain tension to her voice, but she ends up carrying on with a sigh. ]

I've been thinking about it a lot. A Deputy sounds like ... someone who keeps the order, right? Like they'd work with the Sheriff. [ A pause. ] The Doctor keeps confusing me. It sounds really straightforward, but Dr. Lecter almost seems ... too obvious, somehow.

[insincerely]

... Yeah. He does... although maybe they're going with the "so obvious it's not obvious" route.

[He wouldn't be surprised, given that it's the Sheriff.]

You think the Deputy might be something like that "Bandit leader" you brought up before? Given the duty in question, it could fit with someone who works with the Sheriff and kills Bandits.

[ceded]

[ Xion bends her good leg, curling her arms around it so she can tug it to her chest and rest her chin on her knee. He'll feel her shift around, and then go still for a long moment. ]

There is no bandit leader, [ she finally says. ] But there is ... a leader. I don't think anyone knows who they are, or even if their role is one of the ones we already know about. Maybe it is the Deputy, but... I'm not sure. We just know so little. I think ... getting rid of them could end the game.

[insincerely]

... If there's a leader, then there's something they have to be a leader of.

[Hmm.]

Why do you think that?

[Then again, the Sheriff did mention how there were other conditions to end the game beyond the last one standing.]

[ceded]

... someone told me. Someone I trust, so I believe them. But ... they didn't explain much more to me than that. All I really know is that there's a leader and killing them ends the game.

[ She turns her head to smoosh her cheek on her knee, which might have the effect of making her voice sound a little squashed, too. ]

... I've spent all week trying to find out who it could be with no success.

[insincerely]

First I've heard of it. But if killing them really could end the game...

[If killing a single person could end the game... then it might be worth going for it. It's disgusting to think about, but...]

So you plan on going that route, then?

[ceded]

... I've thought about it, [ she admits quietly. ] I've thought a lot about whether or not I could kill to play the game at all. If the leader turned out to be someone I really cared about... I don't think I could do it.

It shouldn't be me. If I tried, and failed... it would be a disaster. But I'd probably... try and find some way to help someone else do it.

[ There's a pause, and she gives a little mirthless laugh. ]

That must sound so horrible.

[insincerely]

[Shinnosuke shrugs, smiling.]

I'm an awful person, remember? I'd probably do it. [...] Well, maybe if it was someone I cared about... maybe not.

[In the end, he might be a coward too.]

A disaster, though? What, are you worried that you'll embarrass yourself in your failed murder attempt?

[ceded]

[ .... ]

If I tried and failed, the leader would know they'd been found out. And then ... who knows what would happen?

[insincerely]

You think they'd kill everyone or something?

[ceded]

[ He'll be able to feel her shrug. ]

They'd definitely kill me. After that, who knows?

[insincerely]

... Is there a reason you'd personally go after them—or rather, help someone else go after them, instead of outing them to the public? Weren't you the person who, at the start, wanted to share everything with everyone?

[Then again, things went downhill from there.]

[ceded]

[ Well. That's a good question, and it gives her cause to think. And the honest answer is: ]

I guess I just hadn't even gotten that far. It's not like I know who they are. If I really did find out, for real...

[ ... ]

I don't know, [ she says, and the answer is something of a revelation even to her. ] If I told everyone, that person wouldn't be able to hide. We might not even have to kill them. But, for some reason... the thought of doing that makes me feel nervous.

[insincerely]

[...]

Well, to me, the reason seems pretty obvious. You'd be asking the public to lynch them—someone who could be completely innocent, beyond the bad luck of having that role. And even if we wouldn't have to kill them... not everyone might immediately assume that.

Until you know who it is, it's risky pulling off a move like that.

[ceded]

... I guess I'll figure it out if I ever find out who it is. [ With soft, somewhat rhetorical humor. This is all a hypothetical, anyway. ]

Do you think ... we can keep working together, Shinnosuke?

[insincerely]

... Please don't tell me you're asking all of your friends that. Someone's bound to take advantage of you, sooner or later.

[ceded]

What? No! I ... well, the only person I think I'd need to ask is you.

[ Somewhat wry. ]

[insincerely]

[...]

Please tell me you mean that in the sense of, "Shinnosuke, you're such an asshole that I don't think cooperation is a given" and not in any other way.

[ceded]

[ what

what???

help her nothing about this conversation has gone quite like she expected ]

W-Was I supposed to mean it some other way?!

[ totally clueless

so you're safe, shinnosuke ]

[insincerely]

Just checking. [Phew.] You're cooperating with a lot of people, then? Good for you.

[ceded]

... yes? [ She says it like a question. ] I'm trying. There's a lot I want to do. I want to solve this with everyone. I want ... everyone to be able to smile again.

[insincerely]

[I want everyone to be able to smile again... huh? It's such an innocent dream that he supposes it's very Xion-like.

... It'd be nice if that could happen.]

Just be careful. Someone, at some point, is probably going to lie to you.

[ceded]

I'm sure someone already has.

[ She says this without malice. Mostly just with a tired-sounding sigh. ]

There are a lot of nice people here, but I've started to learn that being nice doesn't really mean anything. Higekiri was nice, but he was a bandit. And... we never figured out a lot of the killers. They're still here, and they've been lying to all of us for a long time.